Archive for the ‘Personal Developement’ Category
in the post.
Anger management is big news today in the media, it is portrayed in the movies and there are many books written about this topic. No one ever really stops to ask why it has become so necessary. Realistically speaking fifty or sixty years ago no one ever even thought about how to control anger. Have people changed that much? Has crime really risen that much? We know for sure economic crime has risen, but has violent crime propelled by the inability to keep anger in check risen? The answer is complex. It has yes and no properties. The laws that deem what is a crime has risen and changed and that may add to the proof positive statistics that violent crimes and economic crimes have risen.
Is Anger Healthy?
The simple answer is that anger is healthy sometimes. Outrage and anger acts sometimes as a motivator. It is what pushes people to step up and effect change in government and society. It is not the anger that is unhealthy for us it is the way we deal with the anger. You can have some very negative feelings but do some very positive things with those negative feelings. Of course focusing on nothing but negative feelings is unhealthy for you, but no one can be without anger all the time, it is impossible.
When Anger Is Unhealthy
Focusing on anger and doing nothing to improve the situation or to release the anger is proven to have negative consequences. Some of the health related issues that are caused by not releasing anger can include:
High Blood Pressure
Depression
Heart Disease
Other Minor Illnesses
High blood pressure can be affected by thought. Angry thoughts that are given too much attention can elevate the blood pressure and keeps it there, increasing the risk of stroke.
Depression is a huge malady that our society as a whole faces today. People are portrayed as sad and unable to cope with life, very little reference is made to a depression diagnosis known as agitated depression. This type of depression is based in anger. The sufferer of this type of depression is unable to cope with life, but instead of not wanting to get out of bed everyday (although this can be one of the symptoms) they are just very angry at everything and everyone. This is a chicken and the egg conundrum. No one is certain if the constant angry thoughts brings on this type of depression or if the depression brings on these angry thoughts.
Heart disease is also known to exacerbate in folks that are generally angry. Minor illnesses like colds and flu’s, body aches, headaches all are reported in people that also report that they are more angry than most.
Why Is Anger More Prevalent Now
It seems there is a correlation between anger and stimulus. The society that we live in today is very stimulating, there are many more choices to be made, many more options to consider. There is some medical science that supports the idea that there are some people that just cannot cope with the choices and options and all the sensory stimulation. These folks are hard wired not to be able to deal with this sensory overload, that it triggers anger. They become frustrated and irritated easier and these feelings turn into anger.
Some Statistics
Urban dwellers experience anger issues up to 3 times more than rural dwellers.
People with strong religious convictions experience anger up to 65% less than those that are not as committed to their beliefs.
Men that are married report feelings of anger up to 25% less than their single counterparts, but on the flip side of the coin, women that are married experience anger up to 50% more than their single counterparts.
There are some occupations that will make people much angrier than others. Government employees are the least angry, if they work for the federal government, while the employees of local municipalities are a bit angrier up to 21%. Police are the angriest at 71% saying they are angry more than 4 days a week.
Learning To Use Your Anger Wisely
There are classes and counseling that are focused on how to use your anger wisely. There is also medication available that can get you through the rough spots while you are learning to control things.
Develop better Conversation Skills
For several people, chatting up a storm comes easy. They speak to people in line at the grocery store, they talk to people they have just met at a party. It seems that people that know how to talk to anyone have a particular skill or knack. They find something in common with just about everybody they meet. For several people talking-to anybody is a challenge, they are bashful or lacking confidence or simply do not know where to begin. Some people do not want to begin a discussion or engage in a conversation because they are afraid they will say something wrong. There are ways to develop conversation skills.
One of the overall traits of an ordinary talker is that they can find a common ground with just about anybody and they seem to take a genuine interest in other people. To increase conversation skills you must show interest in someone else’s life. Whether that interest be geared toward a hobby, professional interest, family, sports or a host of other topics to increase conversation skills it is very important that genuine interest is shown in the other person’s life. A good conversation requires that questions and inquires are made as to the other persons standing. Relaying a genuine curiosity in someone else’s life makes it easier to engage a person in conversation. To keep the conversation flowing; once it has been engaged, continue to unveil common ground.
Body language sends a load of unspoken words, creating eye contact is an important part of a victorious conversation. Standing with arms crossed signals that you are not open to the discussion. Stand in a relaxed stance, stay away from crossing arms or looking about, and offer the other party full attention, nodding occasionally to relay understanding or agreement.
To increase conversation skills there is an additional key factor that has to be addressed. Learn to be a good listener. Allowing the other person to speak and to share ideas is tantamount to having a good conversation. This idea seems simple enough but often times people having a discussion is likely to talk over one another. It is also important to learn to recognize body language, and to know when to identify that the conversation is over. This also might look like a no brainer, but surprisingly enough, a lot of people do not know when to stop talking.
Learning to increase conversation skills is like any other learned behavior, watch other people that you feel are good conversationalist and copy their actions. Sooner than you know it, you will be one of those folks that everyone loves to talk to.